Funny Status
Funny Status
- If a guy said he’ll fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
- Just being alive gets expensive.
- The problem with this generation boils down to: Their cartoons suck.
- My tolerance for idiots gets weaker by the day.
- Pull over… Your driving skills are so awesome that I want to give you a high five in the face.
- Whenever you feel sad just remember that there are billions of cells in your body and all they care about is your well being :)
- I feel like a text is too serious without an “lol” or “haha” in there somewhere.
- Wearing an oversized shirt and no pants is probably the most comfortable thing of life.
- That awkward moment when you realize you’ve been pronouncing a word wrong your whole life.
- North West: Daddy what were you famous for?
Kanye: Rapping.
North West: mommy what were you famous for?
((awkward silence))
- Best way to get me to listen to you? Tell me you’re from the future.
- Connecting all my highlighters together so I can create a poking device to annoy my coworkers across the hall.
- I have the worst vision and am wearing contact lenses for the first time. My vision’s gone from YouTube to Blu-Ray.
- Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back.
- The only “hot action” going on in my bedroom is my laptop burning my skin.
- Cheer up! You’re the reason that other people feel better about themselves.
- Phone cases are like condoms; you don’t want to, but you kind of have to.
- Do you ever just start rubbing your eyes so hard, that you just start entering some new unknown fucking dimension consisting of twists and patterns like you’re on acid or something?
- It’s not that I don’t trust people, just to be safe my will has a clause that requires 26 witnesses to confirm I’m not still alive before I’m cremated.
- There are commercials in front of online trailers now. So I have to watch a commercial to watch a commercial?
- I will marry the girl, who look pretty in her Adhaar card
- A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM
- Someone on his status "Sleeping" ...since 3 Days! He's Probably dead.
- Just saw the most smartest person when i was in front of the mirror :P
- God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me :P
- My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
- People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason. ;-)
- Open Books, Not Legs. Blow Minds, Not Guy
- I Have Good News And Bad News To Tell You. The Bad News? I Have No Good News. And The Good News? I Have No Bad News.
- Do You Want To Go Out With Me? (A) Yes (B) A (C) B.
- You Don't Know Something? Google It. You Don't Know Someone? Facebook It. You Can't Find Something? Mom!
- Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.