Best Whatsapp Status

  • Had a really great "Night Out" last night, According to my police report.
  • I will win, Not immediately But Definitely.'
  • If you're talking behind my back, you're in a good position to kiss my ass!
  • Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.
  • The road to success is always under construction.
  • Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.
  • Born to express not to impress.
  • Silent people have the loudest minds.
  • Sometimes it's easier to pretend you don't care, than to admit it's killing you.
  • You cannot stop the waves but you can learn to surf.
  • Life is like photography, You use the negatives to develop.
  • Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
  • War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
  • When someone says, "You've Changed", It simply means you've stopped living your life their way.
  • If you want to make your dreams come true, The first thing you have to do is wake up.
  • I don't have dirty mind, I have Sexy imagination.
  • Whenever i think of quit smoking, I need a cigarette to think.
  • You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.
  • You have to be ODD, to be number ONE.
  • When life puts you in tough situations, don't say, why me? Just say, try me!
  • I stopped fighting with my inner demons. We are on the same side Now.
  • If people are trying to bring you 'Down', It only means that you are 'Above them'.
  • Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.
  • The greatest advantage of speaking the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said.
  • Nothing in the world is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.
  • Be a good person, But don't try to prove.
  • Mistakes are proof that you are trying.
  • Some people are alive only, Because it's illegal to kill them.
  • I am not failed......My success is just postponed.
  • If you like me Then raise your hand, If not then raise your standard.
  • When i was born..Devil said.."Oh Shit..!! Competition".
  • I work for money, For loyalty Hire a Dog.
  • I am always right, Once i thought that I am wrong, But i was wrong.
  • I know i am something, Because god doesn't create garbage.
  • If you are gonna be two-faced, Honey at least make one of them pretty!
  • When nothing goes right..!! Go left.
  • If you can't convince them, Confuse them.
  • I love to walk in fog, Because nobody knows i am smoking.
  • I am not drunk, I am just chemically off-balanced.
  • Oh, So you wanna argue, Bring it. I got my CAPS LOCK ON.
  • I am so poor that i can't pay attention in class.
  • Warning...I know KARATE.......And few other oriental words.
  • I used to be an atheist, But then i realized i'm God.
  • Never make eye contact while eating a banana.
  • Success is like being pregnant everybody congratulates you, But nobody knows how many times you got fucked to get there.
  • I am not virgin, My life fucks me everyday.
  • Nothing is over until you stop trying.
  • Person you love is 72.8% water.
  • I talk to myself because i like dealing with a better class of people.
  • People say, you can't live without love...I think oxygen is more important.
  • 80% of boys have girlfriends.. Rest 20% are having brain.
  • When everything comes your way.. Then you are on the wrong way.
  • she's so fake, if you look behind her neck. I bet it says "Made in china".
  • I drink to make other people interesting.
  • If at first, you don't succeed..Keep flushing.
  • Save water drink beer.
  • Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity.
  • Not all men are fools, Some stay bachelor.
  • Don't kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.
  • His story is History, My Story is Mystery.
  • Phones are better than girlfriends, At least we can switch off.
  • Smile today, tomorrow could be worse. 
  • The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. 
  • If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
  • Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
  • Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite.
  • Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.
  • I love my job only when I'm on vacation
  • Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.
  • Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
  • The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.
  • Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!
  • My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
  • FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog.
  • Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
  • In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
  • I'm not online, it's just an optical illusion.
  • That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another.
  • If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
  • How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.
  • Some people call me Mike, you can call me tonight.
  • When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it.
  • Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!
  • Sometimes you succeed.... and other times you learn.
  • There are three sides to an argument - your side, my side and the right side.
  • When there's a will, I want to be in it.
  • Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows.
  • I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too.
  • I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning.
  • When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
  • Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal my status 
  • I'd rather have honest enemies than fake friends.
  • My "last seen at" was just to check your "last seen at".
  • Not always "Available".. Try your Luck..
  • Hey there whatsapp is using me.
  • I'm not lazy, I'm on energy saving mode.
  • You can never buy Love....But still you have to pay for it.
  • Totally available!! Please disturb me!!��
  • “Success” all depends on the second letter.
  • Life is Short – Chat Fast!
  • Time is precious, waste it wisely.
  • I need Six months of vacation, Twice a year.
  • Marriage is a "workshop", Where husband 'works' and wife 'shops'.
  • After Tuesday, even the calender says "W T F".
  • 2 Things can change a women's mood- 1) I love you 2) 50% Discount.
  • SARCASM: Just one of the many services i offer.
  • Cleaning is just putting stuff in less obvious places.
  • I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.
  • Politeness has become so rare that some people mistake it for flirtation.
  • SCIENCE FACT: If you close your eyes, you won’t be able to see.
  • Of course I’m not perfect; there’s a crack in my ass!
  • Love the neighbor. But don’t get caught.
  • Love is like a fart, If you have to force it, It's probably a crap.
  • I have 2-3 real friends, the rest are just people i socialize with.
  • Etc. – End of Thinking Capacity.
  • We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.
  • I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life; if I die next Tuesday.
  • A good friend will help you move, a best friend will help you move a dead body.
  • Trying to understand you is like trying to smell the color 9.
  • “I am sorry for those that disagree with me because I know that they are wrong.”
  • I stay up late every night and realize it’s a bad idea every morning.
  • The two best times to keep your mouth shut are when you’re swimming and when you’re angry.
  • Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
  • My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
  • I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
  • Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.
  • Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
  • I'm not in a bad mood, Everyone is just annoying.
  • I don't know what makes you so dumb, But it really works.
  • If you resolve to give up drinking, You don't actually live longer, It's just seems longer.
  • There's always that one person, who takes a few minutes to get the joke.
  • AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.
  • You are as useless as the 'AY' in 'Okay'.
  • Beauty is in the eye of the credit card holder.
  • I don't lie, I speak Fiction.
  • If i agreed with you, We'd both be wrong.
  • Trust in God, But lock your car.
  • Marriage is a 3 Ring Circus- 1. Engagement Ring, 2. Wedding Ring, 3. Suffering.
  • So i heard you're a player, Well nice to meet you. I'm the coach.
  • I'm not single, I'm just romantically challenged.